This weekend ignited an interesting debate between my husband and me. What started as a tiny spark on Saturday had become a full-on raging wildfire by Sunday evening. I for one had always had the inkling that the day would definitely come someday when Robert Downey Junior would come between us ‘normally loving’ spouses and ‘that someday’ came sooner than anticipated.
It all started on Saturday morning when we decided to re-watch Iron Man. Of course one led to two and then by Sunday afternoon, we had even watched the last Iron Man once more. Somewhere in between Iron Man II and III, it was my innocent observation that ‘Tony Stark’s gadgets sure beat all of Bond’s’ and that my dear friends were the start of the whole saga.
Since the matter is undecided still in my household, I need unbiased referees to help settle the matter. I have hence now come to you. What do you think? Do Tony Stark’s gadgets beat James Bond’s? I most definitely think so, and here’s why.
Now Who Wouldn’t Want A ‘Jarvis’ Or Two
I think James Bond has some really great gadgets but honestly, but I can certainly imagine life without a pen that acts as a laser or shoes that can double up as suction pumps to go on quite as normal as it normally should.
I feel totally meh to say this out loud but really, what use are Bond’s fantastic gadgets to common people who do not want to make straight vertical climbs on skyscrapers or dive face down from airborne planes into freezing cold waters huh?
What I would, however, love to have, something that I can totally imagine making my life significantly better, is a ‘Jarvis’ a la Tony Stark.
|Tony’s Best Yet… Jarvis!
“Jarvis: Yes. Shall I render using the proposed specifications?
Tony Stark: Thrill me.
[as Jarvis works on the render, Tony watches benefit at the Disney Concert Hall on TV]
Jarvis: The render is complete.
Tony Stark: A little ostentatious, don’t you think?
Jarvis: What was I thinking? You’re usually so discreet.
Oh, I can only imagine the joys of waking up to a Jarvis. It must be the perfect British English and the universal appeal of a personal butler that gets to me. But even though I cannot quite put a finger on exactly what it is that appeals to me, one thing I can vouch for with 100 per cent certainly.
There is not a single person in the world that would not want a computerized personal assistant – cum handyman – cum security personnel like Jarvis.
Well, let me put it this way. No more getting up to dim the lights, open the door or change the channel. Whether it is something as boring as booking one’s plane tickets or something as complicated as calculating how long it would take to bake a cake to perfection at a certain temperature, Jarvis would be the one-stop solution.
The AI Jarvis is almost a living being in my eyes. I mean Jarvis takes care of Tony, worries for him and is even sarcastic. A totally smart companion too! Oh, I can totally imagine my life with a Jarvis, can’t you?
Tony Stark: Attitude control is a little sluggish above 15,000 meters, I’m guessing icing is the probable cause.
Jarvis: A very astute observation, sir. Perhaps, if you intend to visit other planets, we should improve the exosystems.
Interlinked Intangible Computer Screens
|Intangible Computer Hardware!
I just love Stark’s computers without screens and keyboards. He just puts up multiple screens on thin air and plucks infobits from here and there. He also changes screens or sends info from one screen to another with just a flick of the wrist. Fantastic no?
I can totally see myself working on those. Just imagine how many interesting articles I can curate with multiple research screens open all around me. I mean, just like Nick Fury in the Avengers, I wouldn’t mind turning even though Tony does find it to be tiring and tedious.
Tony Stark: [Covering his eye, looks around] How does Fury even see these?
Maria Hill: He turns.
Tony Stark: Sounds exhausting.
The Robotic Arm ‘Dummy’
Tony Stark: [Dummy, the robotic arm, has made a mess at the kitchen sink] You! I swear to God, I’ll dismantle you! I’ll soak your motherboard, turn you into a wine rack!
[Dummy looks down guiltily]
Tony may call this particular robot arm ‘dummy’ but he sure loves this one and ‘Dummy’ sure knows it. I would love to have a dummy in my household, I swear. Dummy is really good doing oddball, ‘single hand required’ jobs in the house. I have seen him douse Tony with a fire extinguisher (a couple of times when he wasn’t on fire), I have seen him clear away Tony’s very messy table and I have seen him get Tony out of a badly stuck iron man costume.
Tony Stark: [recording a log as he tests his rocket boots] Day 11, Test 37, Configuration 2.0. For lack of a better option, Dummy is still on fire safety.
[turns to robot]
Tony Stark: If you douse me again, and I’m not on fire, I’m donating you to a city college. Seriously, we’re just gonna start off with 1% thrust capacity. And three… two… one.
[performs test successfully, then lands. Dummy raises its extinguisher arm hopefully]
Tony Stark: Please don’t follow me around with it either because I feel like I’m going to catch on fire spontaneously. Just stand down. If something happens, then come in.
I have very rightly reached the conclusion that Dummy is one loyal robot that always follows orders, well at least most times.
I’d kill to have Dummy in my house, and I would love him just as much, I’m sure.
So there, Tony Stark may not have as many or as fancy new gadgets as James Bond does, but then again, who needs that many when just a few good ones would do just fine. I love Tony’s gadgets and I am not backing out of this debate anytime soon. Care to add your thoughts?