5 Simplest Tricks I Consciously Use To Get My Lazy Ass Moving!
24th July 2013
Two Foolproof Weight Loss Mantras
Ok, let’s face it, the only two foolproof mantras to lose weight are (1) to stick to a diet plan and (2) get one’s lazy ass off the bed and onto a treadmill (or a stepper or even to an aerobic group class). I suck at the former (the croissants keep beckoning me to come hither, like the mannequins in ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic), so I only have the latter to rely on if I have to get into a shape and size than has any kind of semblance to Samantha Stosur (oh yes, for those who don’t know, this Australian tennis star is my fitness icon and I was told everyone should have one… or two… or more).
Just Look At Those Shoulders, Arms and Legs
Yet, it is a world renowned fact that I do have a fairly large, well rounded and definitely lazy ass! While I do go to a gym every single day (except Sundays), I am a world class snoozer at home. So, in order to get me moving when within the confines of my four walls and to keep me from becoming a fairly large, well rounded and of course lazy ass couch potato, I trick myself! Yes, you read it right, I do trick myself. My mind is pretty weird that way, and it is fairly easy to trick it. I make sure that I get my lazy ass moving by inculcating the following 5 simple (and also foolproof in my case, due to the ever popular… kyunki agar main nahi karungi to kaun karega… funda) tricks.
I have a set place for the T.V remote and it is an absolute criminal offence in my household to place that T.V remote anywhere other than at its designated place. This means that no matter how many times I want to turn my T.V on and off, I have to get my ass off my sofa and move it to the place where the remote is kept. Fortunately for me, my mind is not twisted enough to work it out that (1) why not just leave the stupid T.V on for the whole time or (2) why not cheat and keep the remote with me and only leave it back in its place when I am fully done with my television watching (translated: to before my hubby gets home).
I have rented a fully furnished apartment that is actually partially furnished, if you get what I mean! I have rented one that does not have a washer and dryer, making an inevitable trip to the laundromat a must every few days. Of course, my lazy ass hates it, and sometimes my arms do too (especially when my laundry basket is heavy) but at least it gets me working! Hah! There’s another trick on you dear mind!
When I shop for veggies, I ensure that I only buy 2 days worth of supply. Now fresh veggies are must in any vegetarian (well, at least my hubby is one) household and despite knowing that, my shopping basket is consciously restrained. What this does is that a trip to the corner Carrefour or to the nearby Aldi is an absolute must every alternate day. Though my lazy ass cribs and complains about it, it really has no other alternative but to get moving for my hubby loves his mix veg salads.
I have made it a rule that I must take my trash out every single day. Though it is highly tempting to let it accumulate before I make that trip to the dump, it does help to get me moving when I stick to the rule. It is often an added advantage that my trash bag never gives way to the weight and tear off during my trip as it had once ( and do not have the words to describe the mess and for the effort and pain it took to clear it). From that horrifying experience onwards, my lazy ass has never once complained about this is one thing though!
Last, but definitely not the least, I keep all my windows open most of the day. Other than keeping my home well ventilated, what this does is that enough dust settles in my ground floor home each day, to make postponing the sweeping task impossible. Though I really have to push my lazy ass on this one (for just like my ass, even my mind hates brooms), I move through the whole house sweeping it with a broom every single day.
Let me share my personal secret with you, I think that people who don’t have the habit of doing household chores are actually better at doing them then ones that don’t. For example, while my bai in India would finish sweeping my house in 10 minutes, it takes me 30, simply because I am doing it more slowly, more conscientiously and definitely without skipping any corners. Not sure if you agree. But hey, like I said, it gets my lazy ass moving!
So, howzit y’all. Do you like the tricks I play on my mind? Do let me know if you have some of your own to add.